Time is such a mysterious thing. According to our clocks it moves at a constant pace. Ticking away the seconds minutes and hours of our day. Yet in its mystery it can speed up and slow down. As a child, I used to wait for Christmas and in frustration exclaim that it was so far away. Now at summers close I stress because I know that in a blink of an eye it’ll be here.
Managing time is a constant process. My Life changes, my plans are readjusted and time seems to slip through my fingers. I try to prioritize, making sure that my time is spent in the most meaningful ways possible and yet minutes still slip through the cracks unaccounted for and impossible to reclaim.
I second guess myself, “should I have spent my time doing that.” I reevaluate and then move forward only to question myself again. Being busy isn’t a bad thing. But it could be if I’m filling my time with things that don’t matter in the end.
So as the seconds tick I hope that at least my progress in managing something as precious as the time of my life is getting better. I hope that in the end I’ll be able to look back on my time, smile and be able to say “I did alright.”
As a mother I have watched each of my children learn to create. They play with play do and color amazing works of art and then comes the sad day when they start to notice art created by siblings, friends and parents and everything changes. They stop believing me when I tell them that what they have made is amazing. They get frustrated with themselves and crumple up their drawing after seeing something they assume to be better.
I have reflected many times to my own youth. As a child I loved to draw. My parents always encouraged me, they even signed me up for a drawing class. I loved that class and at its conclusion I had a finished drawing of a tiger in charcoal. My parents were very proud of that drawing. Then came the day in middle school when a girl sitting next to me showed me a drawing she was working on. I don’t remember anything about her picture but my thoughts I remember with clarity.
I can’t draw. My parents were just being nice, because I’m their daughter, but I have no real talent.
I’m sad to say that I gave up drawing after that. Now when I look back I see the folly in my thinking. But even worse I watch my own children come to similar conclusions. Nothing I say seems to convince them otherwise. One day I was holding my sons bearded dragons with my daughter. She commented on how beautiful they were and I agreed with her. Then a thought entered my mind and I knew I had an opportunity.
I explained to her that many people detest lizards and don’t see them as beautiful. I then explained that God is the best creator. Yet not everyone appreciates all that he has created. He knew that some people would see beauty in some things and not in others. We are all different and knowing this he created a very diverse world so that all could enjoy it and find beauty in his creations. I then explained to her that if someone doesn’t like her art don’t get discouraged. There will always be someone that appreciates it. She just needs to keep working and improving.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve discovered that I’m my own worst critic. I have learned to handle criticism from others but still struggle with outing the critic in myself. My own doubt cripples me. It is my own voice that tells me that what I’m doing doesn’t matter and that no one would appreciate it. It’s an ongoing battle. Time is precious in my busy lifestyle and I tell myself that writing takes too much of that time and I’m really not that good anyway. So I put it aside for what I deem to be more important tasks. Then something inside pulls me back. I love to write. It fulfills a certain part of me. The battle is constant, but I’m beating the critic within, because my unique ability is worth sharing, even if it doesn’t compare in context or quality to someone else’s. There are people out there that will appreciate my work for what it is. A unique work of art. And art is meant to be shared.
I had a conversation with my son today about how I develop my characters. It was an interesting discussion. Every writer does things a little different and it’s interesting to see different ways to do the same thing.
My characters always just appear in the story. As I start daydreaming or writing the story they’re just sort of formed. I know how they’ll act in any situation I put them in. I have occasionally had characters confront a situation in my story and find that it doesn’t feel right for this particular character. At that point I’ll backtrack and make it right.
I do have character cards to help me keep track of my characters. They’re really not so much cards, as they are a word document with the characters and their names. The facts I keep about each of the characters has much more to do with details of their past, their family and their description. Their is almost nothing written on their personality. This is because I intuitively know each character and what they’ll do.
I’m curious as to how you develop your characters? Please comment and let me know.
I have finished the first draft of the final book in the Soul Conquest series. I am currently starting on the first revision. I’m excited to get this book finished and ready to publish.
I love this quote from Erma Bombeck:
“There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, ‘Yes, I’ve got dreams, of course I’ve got dreams.’ Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it, and yep, they’re still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box.”
I’ve accomplished many of my dreams. Yet there are still many in my box. Don’t get me wrong, I think we should always have dreams in our box so that when we accomplish one we can work on another. The problem occurs when we think some dreams belong forever to remain in the dark secret inclosure of our little dream box. So why do I let some dreams escape and others stay hidden.
Here is my theory. Fear. If I take my dream out, then others can see it. It leaves me open to criticism. Fear of failure is another big one. What if I don’t succeed? I tell myself the big fat lie that not trying is better then failing.
Strangely another one of my fears is success. Why, you ask, would I be afraid of success? Because success would bring with it responsibilities, growth and new challenges. I tell myself that I’m satisfied the way I am. What a fool I can be. A caterpillar that told itself the same thing would never know the beauty and wonder that awaits it as a butterfly.
So here I am taking out a dream that was hidden for years. Attempting to do what I thought was too hard, so that my dream has a chance of coming true. Will there be criticism? Absolutely. Will there be failure? Of course. Will there be success? Only if I try.
I had a conversation with my son this last year that was intriguing. He told me that he wasn’t motivated to do anything. He’s in scouting, sports and school but felt no real drive to excel at any of it. He wanted to know what he could do to be motivated to do something…anything.
It was a great question. One that I think a lot of people struggle with. I’ve struggled with a lack of drive for short periods of time in my own life. So what do we do when that happens? How do we get up off our butts and get going? I’m certain there are as many answers to that question as there are people. For me, however, it’s been my faith. So that is the answer I gave to my son.
I told him that if he had no desire to excel then he could start by praying for desire. We aren’t meant to flounder. Each person is an amazing miracle that is meant to explore their creativity and possibilities. Each of us has so much potential. We shouldn’t let the possibilities of what we can accomplish, create, lives that we can touch, things that we can learn and explore go to waste in this life.
…So pray for the desire to accomplish great things and then get up and do it.
What a wonderful but crazy month. Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love the excitement and anticipation of both giving and receiving gifts. I love spending time with my family keeping old traditions and making new ones. I think what is most amazing however, is to watch how people everywhere seem to be kinder and more giving of themselves, their money and their time.
Now that the holiday’s are behind me, I’m ready to move forward into the new year with a determination to write more. Now that I know what I’m capable of, I have no excuse but to finish the books I have started and move onto other stories. I’ve had many people ask me when I’m going to get the second book of Soul Conquest done. Sadly, I’ve not put the time into it that I should have and my fans have had to wait. I plan to fix that this year. I will finish the first draft by the end of January and plan to have the second and third draft done by the end of February. At that point I’ll send it to my editor and go from there.
Yahoo to 2016 and a new year of goals and success!